Friendaholic: Confessions of a Friendship Addict

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I really relate to being younger and wanting everyone to like me, I was a chronic people pleaser for sure. That is not to say an exploration of friendship should only be done from the scientific perspective, there's no doubt that we experience friendship as a feeling and thus it's both subjective and completely personal.

An insight into Elizabeth Day’s experience of friendship, Friendaholic should be on every woman’s to read list. There’ll be scenarios in this book that you’ll recognise, many of us probably did learn something about relationships during the repeated lockdowns. I really want to say that reading Elizabeth Day feels like listening to a friend, but it's complicated by the fact that I’m an actual friend who makes an appearance in this book on friendship.Elizabeth Day has always been candid when comes to talking about her own fertility and desire to have children. This one really digs deep, is bravely revealing and makes me reflect on my own friendship habits, issues, and culture.

I am a recovering friendaholic too, and I found this book, which to some might seem niche or contrived, essential reading.My preference is for once-a-month meet-ups with an option to consider a mini-break in Prague if things go well. g. "double tap to like" and "ghosting" interspersed with interviews with friends about friendship e. If you have more than seven then you are likely to suffer exhaustion from trying to juggle everyone’s needs. I thought it was clever to have a different friend for each chapter and the inserted friend diaries from other people she'd interviewed were good too (though they should only have been inserted at the end of chapters not in the middle of one).

I am much better at saying no, I don’t have to be at every social occasion (thank God), I have learnt to set boundaries.The discussions talk about the complications involved in being the only black friend to a white person etc and sadly its place in the book feels very much like the tokenism that Day and Sharmaine are trying to fight. Because, like Day, I see being a good friend as involving always being there, regardless of how I’m feeling. It’s true that in most cases, there is no dramatic ending or huge falling out, they’ve just naturally come to an end. What's less fascinating to me is Day's hand wringing about what text message she should send a shitty friend who she doesn't really like.

Romantic partners may come and go, but the ability to tell yourself that you have a lot of friends, some dating back to kindergarten days, is a psychological lifejacket like no other. As a woman in her late twenties, I don’t have a big friend group, but a couple of close friends with a few awful ones left in the past. Reading this book and the experiences Day shares, made me feel seen and reinforced the idea of it being perfectly, fine (and healthy) to set boundaries. Unfortunately, for me, the book is most interesting where it is least like a confessional and most like a scientific exploration of friendship. As such, everything is couched in the author's own experience and most topics are presented as the author trying to sort out a problem in her life.And this is why, for me, the book has been so cathartic, and has delivered repeated punch-in-the-guts moments. I was really excited to read this as I thought it would help me be a better friend and strengthen friendships. I enjoyed Elizabeth Day’s insight into friendships, and I loved the short chapters from different people she’s met along the way, sharing their take on what being a friend means to them. The trouble is, she continually tries to draw universal conclusions from her own (again, very specific) experiences.