He's Not Lazy: Empowering Your Son to Believe In Himself

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This book is for a C student who's 100% into the consumer culture and expectations of American maleness. There are clear explanations of teenage brain development, the role of male hormones, the impact of burgeoning sexuality, and teenagers’ need to find their feet as independent social and emotional beings. It’s the first one I’ve read in the area of understanding teenage boys that really spoke to me and made sense of this sometimes difficult season for families. Additionally, what about our LGBTQ boys that approach their transformation into sexual beings in perhaps a different way?

From what I know of teenage development, young people are usually really motivated to learn about stuff that interests them. Having had this conversation with parents several times I became intrigued, and so wanted to delve a little deeper into this concept of ‘laziness’. This is the first and only parenting book that was even slightly familiar with what we deal with daily. I am sure my 12 year old will be very happy now that I will no longer be a walking self-help book giving him advise at every turn, and letting him learn his life-lessons from living his own life. But this book didn't address what to do if the child fails, and fails, and fails, and doesn't change his ways.I found this great and helped put into perspective what I have experienced and seen in the academic world around me. Almost everything he wrote my wife and I were like “I’d never actually say that but I get his point kind of. I could clearly identify with the explanations of the author in the causes of underachievement in teenage boys. Self-efficacy and personal responsibility are necessary skills in life; if you let you son develop those character traits and skills, he WILL eventually get there! However, as I was reading the introduction, I got already convinced that this book is going to be a great tool for me.

Boys may seem like they're impervious to school pressures and demands, but in fact they often fear failure so much that they simply opt out of academic competition altogether.As someone who is always looking for new evidence and creative thinking about young adults’ mental health and wellbeing, I have read a LOT of books about the teenage brain or raising kids. The parenting lessons in here are equally applicable to parenting girls but the insights are very much ‘what it feels like to be a teenage boy’ so not much help for parents of girls.

I would not recommend this book to any parents who are dealing with teenagers with severe mental health issues or substance abuse. It was also painfully apparent that this book is written for parents with financial and other privilege, whose kids are unquestionably college bound. There is always one idea that you had not considered, or a new vocabulary you needed to have conversations with your teen son. As the former Director of Outpatient Services at Newark Beth Israel Hospital and Associate Director at Family Connections, a mental health agency, he has supervised and trained numerous clinicians in family and child therapy. I am the father of a very successful daughter whose achievements were gained through hard work with little prompting from my wife and me.I enjoyed the audio version but also purchased the ebook so I can highlight it on my phone and a hard-copy in hopes that I can sneak it into my husband's TBRs. He seems to think what they need is more work they’ll never do to figure out why they’re not doing work.