It Didn't Start with You: How Inherited Family Trauma Shapes Who We Are and How to End the Cycle

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I once worked with a twenty-four-year-old woman who cut her arms, legs, and abdomen so deeply she’d often have to be rushed to the hospital because she’d lose enormous amounts of blood.

by “creating personal healing sentences” and “rituals, exercises, practices and healing images”, like placing a photo on the desk, lighting a candle, writing a letter, placing a photo above the bed (that’s different than on the desk), creating a boundary.

These emotional legacies are often hidden, encoded in everything from gene expression to everyday language, and they play a far greater role in our emotional and physical health than has ever before been understood. the general idea that there are illnesses that have a genetic component, which give you a bigger PREDISPOSITION to have a mental illness, i. He gives us the tools and skills — an approach that combines understanding, imaginative dialogues, and compassionate reconnection—to free and heal ourselves. One of the weirdest things he’s stuck on is that he believes that if one of your ancestors murdered someone, the murdered person is now part of your family system and now you can get stuck re-enacting THEIR trauma.

holding that you don���t believe in models of behavior to your chest is NOT THE FLEX YOU THINK IT IS!I realized that my cousin's suicide and addiction were almost an exact copy of his mother's behavior. Now, I can realize that my mom didn't MEAN to be as cold and hard as I felt her to be when I was a kid. Overall, this book is recommended for counselors, and those individuals who've suffered trauma that they cannot easily find cause for. It Didn’t Start with You takes us a big step forward, advancing the fields of trauma therapy, mindfulness applications, and human understanding. just because a long distant relative of yours had PTSD or was a murderer, in no way means you or generations to come will display symptoms BECAUSE of the said relative.