Purity: A Friends-to-Lovers College Romance

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I should be disgusted, like I always am when I hear whispers of his affairs from people who don’t know he’s my dad.

His eyes widen, but his grin stays fixed. “I can’t believe you. You will die on this hill. Almost five years later, you’re still protecting a guy you don’t even know for something he wasn’t even upset about.”She smiles against my skin. This time I can’t help but groan as her slippery tongue heats the inside of my ear. I pull her close and place a kiss on her collarbone. “Good girl,” I say quietly. I wish I could go with you guys,” Vanessa says. “Even if it’s just to people-watch all the drunken college students.” No, it’s okay.” His voice has a raspy quality to it, and it makes me want to shrink inside myself. Jesus, help me, how am I going to ask him to take my virginity when he gets this awkward over hearing me say I masturbate.

The divorce must be throwing me off-kilter. These old fantasies only seem to surface when I’m at my most vulnerable. No matter how much they might provide a balm to my shitty mood, I can’t indulge them. I’ll never have that part of her, and even if I could, I wouldn’t want it. What I have with her is already perfect as it is. No, that won’t work. I’ve already missed out on so much of college life, and I refuse to start my senior year still a virgin. It’s time to face my fears. If I take it slow, I’ll never do it. I’ll end up waiting until I’m married to have sex, not because I want to, but because it’s the easiest route.” I point to the paper in his hand. “These things shouldn’t be scary or shameful, but they are to me, and with that fear comes all this baggage. Cole, I can’t even masturbate without feeling guilty afterward.” That buzzing starts again. My throat is too tight to speak, so I only nod. In what feels like a flash, she’s gone. Why do you get to decide what will scare me?” She’s as close to yelling as I’ve ever seen her. “Why does your sexual experience make you more of an expert on how I would feel than I am?”Her mouth tightens. “I mean, I guess so, but why are you doing these things? You’ve never had any interest in partying. Why do you think doing it now is going to make you happy?” She hugs her knees, drawing my gaze to her Spiderman pajama shorts. Goodness, I think those were my gift to her on her eleventh birthday. An ache tugs at my chest. In some ways, she’s wiser than her seventeen years, but she’s still very much my baby sister, and it must be scary for her to see her role model change. Brandon was conflicted most of the book. I understood where he was coming from in a sense, but I also felt that he was kind of a doormat when it came to Mari's dad. Like dude your a grown man, just tell him no. I did like how obsessed he was with Mari but was not a fan of him waiting for the dad to give his blessing to actually go after her. Cole,” Mariana calls out as she reaches us. “How did I not know before now that you’re friends with Travis? Livvy and I grew up with him. He went to our church.”