The Things That We Lost

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I wanted to write a novel that depicts life as it is — the good bits and the bad. Both mental health and race were topics that were showing up in the non-fiction I was reading but I couldn’t find a great deal of fiction looking at brown men struggling with mental health, or that looked at the experiences of the Gujarati community that settled in London. Josh Rosenblatt (2007-10-19). "Things We Lost in the Fire". The Austin Chronicle . Retrieved 2007-10-27. The next novel feels like a lighter, funnier read following a British Gujarati female protagonist in her late twenties. Families and secrets are also a big theme.

The Things That We Have Lost" follows the lives of mother & son, Avani & Nikhil. Following the devastating loss of their beloved Dad/Grandad, secrets from Avani's past stirs up a desire within Nikhil to learn more about his deceased father, much to Avani's dismay. The story is told over the course of the 80s, early 90s & the present day. The reader is taken through the whirlwind of Avani's teenage years, her marriage, the untimely death of her husband, her grief & the loss of her father. Avani's story is beautifully interwoven with Nikhil's story which is essentially a coming of age story; The difficulties of navigating race, belonging, grief, mental health & relationships. Nik struggles with how white his university town is, which is totally at odds with the diversity of London. I saw that you went to uni in Norwich, which is quite a ‘white’ area. Did you have a similar experience to Nik at uni? Nik has just finished his A-levels and is starting university. Avani is coming to terms with another layer of grief having previously lost her husband before Nik’s birth. The opening chapters about grief and loss were powerful and authentic. Having lost my own grandfather days before starting the book, every single line was written perfectly. The denouementto the novel is quite open-ended. Is it to suggest that there is no closure in real life? Eventually, Audrey demands that Jerry leave the house after he questions Audrey on her reaction to Harper playing hooky from school. This causes Jerry to relapse with heroin. Audrey and Neal rescue and rehabilitate Jerry, and he agrees to admit himself to a specialized clinic. At first Harper, who has come to love Jerry as much she did her father, is angry that he is leaving. But after he leaves her a heartfelt note she accepts that he is going.

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Jerry is still struggling with his addiction but seems to be well on his way to recovery. He leaves red flowers on Audrey's doorstep with a note that reads "Accept the good," a phrase which Jerry himself had told Brian, and that Brian had subsequently said to Audrey many times. The prologue had me hooked. Avani is introduced, and while I immediately had a sense of where the story of her past might be headed, it still grabbed me in, as I wanted to not only know if my instinct was right, but the details to be filled in. However, it's another death which proves to be the catalyst for the shifting of the dynamics between mother and son. Even though the death of Nik's grandfather isn't entirely unexpected, the gap he leaves is profound and I thought the recognition of the way bereavement changes everything was considered with such insight. Events in the present day take place over just a few months and there are fascinating lines drawn between the more recent upheaval and that which occurred long ago The post prologue open chapter has Nik visiting his dying grandfather (Avani’s father) in hospital before his death – his grandfather gives him a key to something that he has kept for Nik for years, but is reluctant to discuss Elliott, suggesting instead Nik speaks to Chand.

My favourite parts of the novel included the dialogue which, particularly in the sections featuring Nik, is a lively mix of London street slang and untranslated Gujurati. I also liked the portrayal of male mental illness struggles – both in the life of Nik but also his father. There was also a side-plot involving a relative of Elliott that, while I wavered over its plausibility, was well handled. We then immediately move to Nik, trying to find his grandfather in hospital, as he had been moved. You sensed the closeness they had from the off. We then move through various points in time. Some are present day, some scenes are from the past. It melds into a story that is done beautifully well in my opinion.While the similarities between our experiences end there, my feelings towards this novel only grew deeper. Jyoti Patel has beautifully captured the impact that those who are no longer with us leave behind. She has thought of it all. The inner conflicts, the misunderstandings, the things that are said because the things we want to say go unsaid. The grief that is carried alone because misguidedly, we think it will be a burden to share with others. So there’s a lot going on in this book but it’s not cluttered and not at all writing-course-y, but flows naturally with themes of friendship and family and friendship within family pushing to the fore. There’s a beautiful redemptive moment with an uncle who had seemed to have become almost a cliche, and there’s a very nice dog which doesn’t have anything awful happen to it (phew). We’re not left with all the ends neatly tied, which I liked, but with enough resolution and hope to make it a positive as well as an interesting read. I didn’t think so much about fitting it into genres when writing because I didn’t want to feel constrained or restricted. I didn’t want to think too much about the reader because I felt the pressure of that would have overcooked the writing. I started with the characters and wanted to get to know them fully. Then, I went where they led me. I wanted to follow a family torn apart by grief for six months, with flashes to their past, and see where they led me and what they had to say. The ending reflects this too —I metaphorically show how they’ve both grown, how Avani finally opens up to Nik. I leave them to it without having a neat and tidy conversation that wraps everything up because I don’t believe that would have happened in real life. The story opens with the narrator’s father leaving her with the Kinsellas, a couple who live on a farm in rural Ireland. Cautious at first, the compassion she is shown by the couple draws her closer to them. She is bathed, fed, loved, and told, fervently, “there are no secrets in this house”. Except there are, or rather, there is one, sitting quietly behind the couple’s tenderness towards the girl. It’s the memory of their dead son, whose clothes the narrator wears to mass, whose room she sleeps in. A subtle, beautiful tale, all the more powerful for its succinctness.

I really enjoyed the way romance was dealt with in this novel. Avani and Nik both have interactions in the book which could be described as romantic but these never read as cheesy or saccharine to me. I have a very low tolerance for cringe so was grateful for the subtle way Patel included these relationships without them overshadowing other elements of the story.Sorry for starting at the end but the book itself sort of starts with an end. The Things We Lost tells the story of Avani, her son Nik, her husband Elliot and their families. Things We Lost in the Fire is a 2007 drama film directed by Susanne Bier, written by Allan Loeb, and starring Halle Berry, Benicio del Toro and David Duchovny. As Maddie navigates this new world, she realizes she is the product of her own unhappiness. But is this new do-over exactly what she needs, even if it means never seeing her daughters again? This novel follows the Lees, a Chinese American family living in Ohio in the 1970s. In the opening lines, the omniscient narrator declares: “Lydia is dead. But they don’t know this yet.” Lydia is the middle child, the favourite, whose body is soon to be found in a nearby lake. The narrator moves between the perspectives of each family member, weaving together the secrets each holds, allowing the reader to see the misunderstandings and miscommunications between them as they grapple with their grief and the mystery of Lydia’s death. Writea message in a bottleto other players about anything. Tell a story, share a secret, try to help a player or even harm them.