Cuckolded by the Boss: Hotwife Cleanup Husband Humiliation (Happy Hotwife)

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Incidents and feelings of humiliation can both lead to serious mental health problems. Generalized anxiety and depression are common among people who have experienced public humiliation, and severe forms of humiliation can be crippling, causing a person to abandon his or her interests or stop pursuing goals. When parents use humiliation as a form of punishment, the consequences can be particularly damaging. Children who have been humiliated by their parents may suffer from chronically low self-esteem as well as a host of mental health problems. Sheri, Sorry to hear. Sounds very difficult and painful. There is hope and it sounds like you haven’t given up, which I admire. You would find a lot of value in my webinar, How to Get Respect, Reconnect and Rev Up Your Love Life. You can register for it here: I feel so supported and validated by all the women who are struggling WITH the Steps and with all the Work. I have been practicing the work and seeing amazing results for a while (2-3 years). But as soon as I miss a step it’s as if we never had an improvement. I feel like it all depends on me. Now he hasn’t spoken to me in over a month(It’s a searing pain just to write it) even though we still live together (it sounds unbelievable, right?) We pretend in front of the kids so they shouldn’t suffer. He realized and is very hurt that I don’t trust him. He betrayed my trust (He admits that). It was 3 years ago. He claims I wrote him off after that. I didn’t then, but stuff came up again and I am so anxious all the time. When I was practicing the Steps it felt great but not real. We are going for help. Nothing is helping. I have tried the Work again. I’m giving it up to G-d and praying for inner strength and healing for both of us. My entire family, extended family, neighborhood, friends, teachers etc humiliated me regularly and severely. It evolved into my teen relationships, sometimes it was because of social mis steps and sometimes just for the fun and it carried on into my adult life. Partly organically, like, if I met someone in a group who knew me as a child, they would then let everyone know of my misdeeds as a child so they could get a laugh at my expense and all of a sudden I become that person again. I moved to a new city but still, I think because I just don’t know how to act around people because I was always so ostracized… I’m now very sensitive to even the most mild humiliation like being left out (which happens on the rare occasion I try to “put myself out there” and have friends), or being used or talked about etc. I can’t handle it and I just recluse sometimes for years.

I’ve been alone for a long time now, so it doesn’t make much difference in my day-to-day life. I’m sad that the happy, bubbly, open version of ‘me’ is dead. I have a barbed wire fence wrapped around me now and I no longer believe in love, romance or any of that junk. It’s turned me very cold. I’ve always gone out of my way to make everyone else feel good, offer support, cheerlead them, spoil them with gifts, try to make everyone else’s life a bit better. I’m done with that. Other than a handful of relatives, I’m not wasting my time or energy any more. I’ve learned the hard way that when you are nice to people they just see a giant ‘idiot’ sign on your forehead and think they can take advantage of that. Humiliation. (n.d.). Emotional Competency. Retrieved from http://www.emotionalcompetency.com/humiliation.htmLaura Doyle is a New York Times Bestselling Author, Relationship Expert, Host of The Empowered Wife Podcast at Laura Doyle Connect. | Updated: 09/05/2023 Then I met someone at work that was my idea of perfect, who made it clear he liked me too. He started openly flirting with me, treating me like I was the best thing since sliced bread, getting jealous when I complimented other people, etc. Other people noticed and pointed it out to me and I stupidly thought he was being sincere and actually liked me. I was told he was recently divorced, which was technically true, and he seemed like a genuinely nice guy. So I let my guard down like a naive idiot. I later found out he had remarried, regretted it, and decided to drag some random other woman (me) into his mess. I was embarrassed that he had openly flirted with me in front of other people, I’d done the same thinking it was mutual, and they hadn’t bothered to tell me about the second wife. Two of them were encouraging and teasing me about him and didn’t give a damn when I found out about wife #2 and was hurt. I felt like a complete idiot. I then had the wife ask myself and another woman if we knew any wealthier guys who were single, which made it even worse. I felt like I was being used as a pawn in some screwed up game. I barely leave the house now. I work online with a team, but rarely communicate with anyone else. I’ve lost all trust in humans and I’m burnt out from being used and thrown away so many times. I can’t help but view other people as dangerous wild animals that could turn around and bite me at any moment. It just isn’t worth the risk to get close to anyone again. There are a few people in my family that I will let in to a certain extent, but even then I am wary of getting hurt. It’s completely changed me as a person. Maybe that’s a good thing.

I was the perfect wife--until I actually got married. When I tried to tell my husband how to be more romantic, more ambitious, and tidier, he avoided me. I dragged him to marriage counseling and nearly divorced him. I then started talking to women who had what I wanted in their marriages and that’s when I got my miracle. The man who wooed me returned. Kristen, I can see why you’re at a loss after you’ve tried everything. You shouldn’t have to work so hard. That sounds really discouraging and scary. You are definitely not alone with this. I remember the days when I needed a miracle to fix my marriage. To paraphrase Thomas Wolfe, miracles not only happen around here, they happen all the time! Cynthia, My husband is 11 years older, and I had the same experience that the man I married disappeared and gave up. I thought it was hopeless and nearly divorced him. But now I have the marriage I always wanted. I’m hosting a free webinar that you would find valuable where I show you exactly what to do to Get Respect, Reconnect and Rev Up Your Love Life: When I started practicing the 6 Intimacy Skills, I felt discouraged when I encountered resistance. I had done the old dance for so many years that it took my husband time to catch up to my new dance steps! Having the support of other surrendering women really helped me. Angela, That sounds so discouraging! I wouldn’t like that either. And how painful to hear him say he hates you. Ouch! Good news though–you can turn this around even if he won’t try. The Six Intimacy Skills will be very valuable for you. They are all laid out step-by-step in my book The Empowered Wife. You can read a free chapter here:

You should call your mom,” or “you should diversify your portfolio.” I felt this was okay because clearly I was right. 10. Undoing and redoing things he’d just done and then showing him how I did them. How much to contribute to his 401K, which clothes to get rid of in the closet so we (read: I) would have more room. Since I believed I was smarter than him, this was only logical. 4. Shooting him disapproving looks. Humiliation is related to embarrassment, but is typically longer-lasting and more painful. A person might feel embarrassment after misspeaking or performing poorly on a test, while humiliation tends to go alongside more significant public failures. Humiliation also sometimes occurs with trauma, particularly physical violations. Rape and assault victims, for example, often report feeling humiliated. I remember when hurtful words were the norm in my marriage. It was such a struggle not to be able to respect his choices or bad decisions. Then I found the 6 Intimacy Skills, which restored the peace and passion–and inspired him to be his best self. I’m talking about important, life-shattering things like loading the dishwasher properly and making the bed. If I didn’t show him, how would he ever learn? Poor thing!