The Impossible Change: Lesbian to Missionary (0)

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As D. Michael Quinn points out in Same-Sex Dynamics among Nineteenth-Century Americans, the way today’s world understands same-sex relationships is not how earlier generations have understood them. While intimate relationships between people of the same sex were not uncommon during 19th century Mormon history, these were not necessarily sexual. For instance, on July 8, 1837, Mary Fielding Smith observed that “some of the Sisters were engaged in conversing in tongues their countenances beaming with joy, clasped each other’s hands and kissed in the most affectionate manner” – an intense, but apparently non-sexual, expression of affection and intimacy. On the other hand, the true nature of expressions of affection between women is not always clear. Also in the late l830s, a 27-year-old Mormon girl wrote to her second cousin, who had been her roommate at Amherst College, “If I could sleep with you one night, [I] think we should not be very sleepy… at least I could converse all night and have nothing but a comma between the sentences, now and then.” Quinn refers to love between women as “female homoeroticism.” The first known reference to female homoeroticism in Mormon history occurred in 1856 when a Salt Lake man noted in his diary that an LDS woman was “trying to seduce a young girl.” The term “lesbian” first appeared in 1870, used in a diary as the equivalent of the word “sodomy.” Three years later, in 1873, the Women’s Exponent magazine reprinted an essay entitled “Women Lovers.” Written by a non-Mormon, it began, “Perhaps you do not know it, but there are women who fall in love with each other.”

Andrews said that before joining the Mormon church, at 17, she only had sex once, and following her admission to the church, she adhered to their strict rules regarding pre-marital sex. Andrews said that she didn’t have sex again until she was 26 years old. In Andrews’ words, she describes her experience in the church as being “very sexually repressed” and being treated like a nun. Andrews says that she believes the church’s policies on pre-marital sex “creates awkward and guilt-ridden young adults. That’s what repression does.” When Andrews, 30, was awarded the Penthouse award in June 2019, she told the magazine that she grew up in the Pacific Northwest and moved to Utah at 17. Her move was motivated by her mission to join the Mormon church. At the same time that the LDS community became aware of lesbianism in the larger society, relationships between women within the LDS community were often celebrated or encouraged. Mormon suffragist Emmeline Wells, for example, publicly praised the same-sex relationship of Francis Willard, President of the National Women’s Christian Temperance Union. In 1912, the first explicit reference to lesbianism in an LDS magazine occurred when the Young Woman’s Journal paid tribute to “Sappho of Lesbos.” Nine years earlier, in l903, the same magazine had published a poem by Kate Thomas celebrating her same-sex love. Thomas, a devout Mormon who never married, wrote of her lover, “from her lips I take Joy never-ceasing.” In 1919, the Children’s Friend published an account of the love between the Primary general president, Louise B. Felt, and her first counselor, May Anderson, who were referred to as the “David and Jonathan” of the Primary General Board. By 1952, the LDS community’s understanding and acceptance of same-sex relationships was beginning to change. That year, First Presidency counselor J. Reuben Clark first publicly announced the existence of lesbianism. (Not surprisingly, he was warning Church members against the practice.) Within seven years, Church officials had become very concerned about what they saw as the growing problem of homosexuality, though the term was generally used in relation to men.Did you grow up smooshing your Barbies’ non-existent vulvas together? Their plastic limbs akimbo in a sapphic embrace as Ken lay dejected in the toy box? Well, congrats, you’re probably queer now — and you’re also probably more than a little curious about scissoring. Wu is also careful not to depict the Chinese-American community as a monolith. Wil is so deeply closeted around her family that we assume Vivian must be too, until her mom calls and leaves a sweet answering machine message asking about her daughter’s new girlfriend. It’s one of the many places where Wu emphasizes the diversity of perspectives that exist in Flushing’s Chinese-American enclave. While Hwei-Lan dislikes her daughter’s tomboyish style, Wil’s warm grandmother (Guang Lan Koh) compliments the practicality of her granddaughter’s footwear with the darkly funny line, “I had a pair just like those during the Revolution. Sturdy and practical. Just the thing for war.”

The turning point for Andrews came when her church forbade her from being her sister’s bridesmaid because the bridesmaid dress was deemed “immoral.” That was in 2014. Andrews said that in the Mormon church, women are required to wear a “garment” under their clothing at all times, except during the “Three S’s: swimming, sports and (marital) sex.” Andrews said of her sister’s wedding, “Technically if I were to be a faithful Mormon I couldn’t wear the bridesmaid dress because it was ‘immodest’. So, I had to turn it down.” Addie Andrews is the porn star who used to be a Mormon missionary. Andrews was Penthouse Pet of the Month in June 2019. Alice comes off as very accommodating. But when it comes to her vision, she’s a killer,” Zee explained. Wu won a battle over the film’s language as well. She knew that for the world to feel authentic, large swathes of Saving Face had to unfold in subtitled Chinese. Nearly all of Hwei-Lan’s dialogue is in Mandarin, and the way Wil switches between English and Mandarin when speaking to her mom helps inform their complicated relationship. Saving Face is interested in the grey areas of parent/child dynamics, the times when parents are able to live in denial because the truth hasn’t technically been spoken aloud. As Wu put it, “This is not a story about when will this woman tell her mom. It’s a story about when will these two women drop their masks and really see each other.”During this same time, Mildred J. Berryman began a study of 24 lesbians living in Salt Lake. She continued her study of lesbians and gay men until 1938. Berryman’s work has the distinction of being the first community study of lesbians performed in America. One of the women Berryman interviewed for her study, Cora Kasius, was a staff member of the Relief Society who went on to become a faculty member at Barnard College and a liaison officer for the United Nations. Scissoring is something of a, shall we say, "controversial" activity within the lesbian community. That’s because it’s pretty much synonymous with lesbianism according to the straight imagination — and a prominent feature in mainstream lesbian porn. But ask some people of the sapphic persuasion themselves, and they’re likely to refute these presumptions, roll their eyes and mutter that scissoring is simply just not possible. Since the time the pioneers entered the valley, Mormon women have fallen in love with other women. While many such experiences were private, the organization of what we would today call a lesbian community began before the end of the last century. In 1891, when the gay-associated Bohemian Club of Salt Lake was incorporated, both women and men were included as members. Its principal incorporator and benefactor was Katherine Young Schweitzer, granddaughter of Brigham Young. Still, it was not until 189Z, when the Deseret News published a story about a Memphis, Tennessee, woman who was accused of murdering her girlfriend, that the LDS community became exposed to lesbianism in a public way. And for those with more limited mobility, Bisbey has some parting advice. "People who have reduced mobility may find that supportive pillows and cushions make scissoring easier," she explains. "Varying body positions frequently, so joints don’t stiffen up, may also help."

Andrew concluded her press release by speaking glowingly about the porno industry saying, “I have the financial ability to put myself where I want to be. I never had that before. Being an independent woman and not having to rely on anyone else; to live a good life and contribute to society, that’s what pornography has given me. And it’s given me a sex life!” With When Romance Met Comedy, Caroline Siede examines the history of the rom-com through the years, one happily ever after (or not) at a time.

Saving Face subverts some rom-com clichés while leaning into others, before ultimately ending on a truly romantic note. The final scene brings the film full circle and ties all of its themes together in a satisfying, well-earned way. Wu depicts a world where prejudice exists but change is still possible. And, crucially, Wil, Vivian, and Hwei-Lan don’t need to leave behind their community to find it. They just need to defy its more regressive, patriarchal side. It’s a message that’s still relevant to the unique challenges Asian Americans can face when coming out. One of the most common interpretations of tribadism or tribbing is basically as a type of dry-humping, but without clothes. So if you’ve ever tried TikTok’s infamous knee move (where you move your knee to apply pressure to a partner’s clitoris during a fully-clothed makeout sesh) you just need to do that— but minus the clothes and up the intensity. Mashable is a registered trademark of Ziff Davis and may not be used by third parties without express written permission. Okay, confusing. But it doesn’t necessarily matter what things in the bedroom are called, as long as you and any sexual partners have a clear, shared and consensual understanding of whatever you’d like to try. If you’re not particularly good with terms, or have different ideas of what they mean, just describe whatever position or activity you’d like to get up into. How do you scissor?